my kiddo turned 12 today at 7:13am
Now, i do not consider myself a sentimental mother. it’s not my style. i didn’t save macaroni necklaces or those handprint paintings. i don’t cry on the first day of school. and i didn’t get emotional when he hit the “double digit” mark in age.
but something about 12 is incredibly difficult for me. maybe it’s because next year, he’s officially a teenager. Or maybe it’s because there are small glimpses of his release from me. At 12, he has developed his own interests. We do not share them. He is very much into c++ coding and technology. He loves science and math. He has very little appreciation for my sarcasm and mom jokes. His brain is very linear. and mine is… well… yeah.
At 12, he knows what he wants to wear. And what he wants his hair to look like. He is highly against me putting him on social media without his prior consent. He needs to know the what, where, why, and when for anything we do.
At 12, it has become apparent that he is growing. He’s about 2 inches shorter than i am. And if he falls asleep in the car on our drive home, i have to wake him up to tell him to walk to bed. He’s just too heavy.
At some point… he will surpass me. in intelligence. height. interest. and he will no longer be the little boy wrapped in my arms. At 12, i feel like that light at the end of the tunnel is more of an oncoming train than anything else.
For now, i am enjoying the small moments. and any photo where he looks like a little boy again and not a growing young man. I love catching those few and brief moments where he plays like a little boy with cars or in the water. I appreciate this age. and all the years prior. and all the ones to come.
but my momma heart just wasn’t ready for 12.
bacon. i love you.